Old age and health issues are the reasons Pope Benedict is resigning as the leader of the Catholic Church.  The home office has thier own theories. 

 Here's Top Real Reasons the Pope is Resigning.

--He got tired of the annoying Vatican chef greeting him every morning with, "Eggs, Benedict?" 

--He wants to follow in Oprah's steps and launch a cable network that nobody watches. 

--There are things on his Bucket List he still wants to do.  Like, wear jeans.  

--You know how boring ONE mass is?  Try doing that seven times a week. 

--Popin' ain't easy. 

--He's tired of having to explain how someone with "papal infallibility" consistently BUTCHERS "YMCA" at Vatican karaoke nights.  

--He's still furious about the Puerto Rican flag being airbrushed onto the hood of the Popemobile during his last trip to New York. 

--He'd never seen a pope resign and he wanted to know what color smoke they'd release. 

--Turns out being infallible is a real drag because no one will play Scrabble with you. 

--He just saw an episode of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" and realized God is mad!

--Now that they're both retired, he and Ray Lewis can take that long-planned cross-country road trip.

--He wants to trade his giant pope hat for a fedora and sit in Starbucks all day crafting his romantic-comedy screenplay. 

--Who knows?  Read his rambling 20 page manifesto and find out.